Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence. It's a superpower that is critical to success at work and in life. So, let's learn more about it...
How Many of Us Are Truly Self-Aware?
“Human nature seems to endow us with the ability to size up everybody in the world except ourselves.” John Maxwell
I’d say that’s right on target! Organizational Psychologist, Tasha Eurich states that only 10 to 15% of people are truly self-aware, yet 95% think they are. That’s a big gap! She says that being self-aware has many advantages, including better performance, more promotions, and more effective leadership.
Often, we operate on autopilot and don’t really think about our emotions and reactions or take the time to reflect on our strengths, weaknesses, and how we appear to others.
7 Ways to Become More Self-Aware
1. Take personality assessments.
Personality assessments are not the be-all-end-all but can certainly provide some clarity and insight into why we operate the way that we do. My favorite assessments for this purpose are the Enneagram and the Working Genius.
The Enneagram is a personality assessment that identifies nine different personality types and outlines strengths and opportunities for growth.
The Working Genius sheds light on your natural gifts, talents, and preferences and the types of work that drain and frustrate you.
2. Spend some time reflecting.
One of the most effective methods for cultivating self-awareness is to spend time reflecting. This must be done intentionally because our minds are undoubtedly over-stimulated. Most of us are going from work to outside activities and back again with a little sleep and family time in between. And any downtime is spent scrolling on our phones. Carve out some time to be by yourself and reflect on the questions below.
Who am I really?
What inspires me?
What makes me unique?
What do I do well?
What don’t I do well?
What uplifts me?
What drains my energy?
What do I value?
What are my fears?
What do I need to change to be most effective?
What is my purpose in life?
3. Ask trusted friends or colleagues for feedback.
Ask trusted friends and colleagues to share their perspectives on your attitudes, traits, or behaviors. Let them know you are working on becoming more self-aware and that you genuinely want candid, constructive feedback. People love to give advice so sometimes phrasing your request for feedback as advice can help you glean more information.
You might say, “I’d like your advice on how I can improve my ability to communicate well” (or whatever the topic is). Maybe even approach it as feed-forward, asking something like, “How can I be most effective in my leadership going forward?”
4. Identify what triggers your negative and positive emotions.
Understanding what makes you mad, sad, stressed, or jealous can go a long way in terms of self-awareness. When you recognize what sparks your negative emotions, you can become more selective of the people, places, and situations you engage with. This can also help you prepare for situations that might trigger you. On the flip side, you can learn more about what triggers engagement and joy in your life and try to get more of that!
5. Question your opinions and beliefs.
Challenging your opinions and beliefs is an amazing way to learn about who you are. Doing this increases your awareness of your thoughts and biases and behaviors stemming from those thoughts. You may think, “Biases. I don’t have any of those.” As much as we hate to admit it, we all have them, and the large majority are unconscious. They stem from our past experiences including how we grew up, our parents, our schools, our churches, the media, cultural norms, and more. Biases harm our leadership and decisions, so we need to do the work to identify those that are impacting us and move past them.
6. Get clear on your core values.
Your core values are the principles that guide your life. They are the “why” behind all that you say and do. When it comes to self-awareness, identifying your core values is key. If you don’t know your core values, do the work to identify them. They will help prioritize your life and make decisions. Here is a helpful article or you can reach out and I’m happy to send you a worksheet to help!
7. Keep a journal.
Journaling is a great method to support the above strategies and to keep track of your thoughts, feelings, and triggers. You can jot down things like:
What did I do well today?
What challenges did I face?
How was I feeling?
How did I respond?
What could I do better next time?
Need help increasing your self-awareness? I have a workshop and a worksheet for that!
Reach out to leslie@influencehrconsulting.com to get started.
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