This isn't normally the type of post that I would include on my blog, but I wanted to share to help anyone who is struggling with the suicide of a loved one.
Four years ago, today was the worst day of my life. Someone very close to me died by suicide. Losing a loved one to suicide results in an unimaginable pain—one that brings a unique mix of grief, guilt, confusion, and unanswered questions. The journey of healing is deeply personal and non-linear but know that you are not alone.
Here are some key strategies to help you navigate this difficult time.
1. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Grief after suicide is complex and may include a mix of feelings such as sadness, anger, guilt, or even relief if the person was struggling for a long time. All of these emotions are valid. There is no "right" way to grieve.
2. Release the Burden of Guilt
Many survivors struggle with "What if?" thoughts—wondering if they could have done something differently. Know that suicide is rarely caused by a single event but rather a combination of factors, including mental health struggles. Blaming yourself won’t change the past, but forgiving yourself can help you move forward.
3. Honor Your Loved One in a Meaningful Way
Rather than focusing solely on how your loved one died, find ways to celebrate their life such as:
Creating a memorial, such as a scrapbook or a tree planting
Writing a letter to express what you never got to say
Supporting suicide prevention efforts in their honor
4. Take Care of Your Mental and Physical Health
Grief can take a big toll on your mind and body. Prioritize rest, self-care, nutrition, and movement.
5. Prepare for Triggers and Difficult Days
Anniversaries, birthdays, or unexpected reminders can bring waves of grief. Anticipate these moments and create a plan to deal with them.
6. Accept That Healing Doesn't Mean Forgetting
Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one. It means carrying their memory in a way that brings comfort instead of pain. Healing is about learning to live with the loss while still embracing life.
7. Know That Help Is Available
Grief can feel isolating. If you're struggling, please reach out to others who can help!
Resources include:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) – Call or text 988 for 24/7 support
The American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP) - Provides tools, resources, information, and events for those left behind (www.afsp.org)
Mental Health or Grief Counselors
Support Groups – Available locally or virtually. Check with AFSP, NAMI, and churches that offer Grief Share.
8. Lean into Faith and Spirituality
For many, faith is a source of comfort, strength, and healing. If you have spiritual beliefs, consider turning to prayer, scripture, or a faith-based community for guidance and support. If you’re struggling with spiritual questions related to your loss, talking to a trusted pastor, faith leader, or counselor may help. My faith was the most pivotal element in helping me through my grief.
In conclusion, you are not alone in this journey. There is hope, healing, and life after loss.
If I can help you in any way, please feel free to reach out to laspeas@me.com. I am a volunteer with AFSP and can also do Suicide Prevention workshops.
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