Fix this First: the #1 Leadership Skill that Changes Everything

Leslie Speas
May 23
2 min read

The most important (and maybe the most difficult) person you’ll ever manage is yourself. Without strong self-management, it’s nearly impossible to lead others effectively. At the heart of self-management lies self-awareness, the ability to understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

Want to boost your self-awareness? Grab a free worksheet to help you reflect and grow.

It can be difficult to self-regulate when emotions are high. But when you understand your triggers, strengths, weaknesses, blind spots, and biases, you can scan potential responses to a situation and choose one that will lead to more favorable outcomes.

One of my favorite tools for navigating stressful situations is the COPE method:

The COPE Method for Managing Stress

C – Catch yourself

Recognize when your emotions are starting to escalate.

O – Observe

Tune in to what’s happening in your body and mind (i.e., racing heart, clenched jaw, spiraling thoughts). Then, ‘name it to tame it’ by labeling what you’re feeling.

P – Practice the pause

Take a few deep breaths, grab a drink of water, or do whatever calms you so that you will be in a better state of mind to deal with the situation.

E – Evolve

Choose a thoughtful response instead of going with your first reaction. Spoiler alert: That first impulse rarely ends well!

As a sidenote, practicing healthy lifestyle habits will help!

Get enough sleep: It’s easier to “fly off the handle” when you’re exhausted.
Eat well: You may have heard the expression “hangry"; eat regularly and choose foods that fuel your body well!
Exercise: Physical activity can help reduce anxiety and help you cope.
Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help increase coping skills and has other positive effects on your health.

Bottom line? The more intentional you are about managing yourself, especially under pressure, the better your relationships, stress levels, and results will be.

Check out my book, 7 Habits of High-Retention Managers (this is one of the habits)

Watch the Leadership Reset Challenge video on this topic

Get information on Leadership training - email leslie@influencehrconsulting.com

Don't be like this!

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